How about a home-educators drop-in?

A nourishing social space for the benefit of parents as well as children.

I joined the Bristol Home-ed community 14 years ago with my two little boys, (now not so little at 15 & 18). Bristol was known even then for its home-ed community to the point that people relocated there for it.

This was pre-Facebook days and made up of people from all over the city and beyond.

The community was vibrant and alive, and thanks to a group called HELP; (Home Education Learning Place), had regular weekly meetups. To my knowledge and memory, they had 3 meeting places each week, one indoor with a drama focus, one outdoor with a sport focus and one at Felix Road Adventure Playground.

The latter was a contained indoor/outdoor space which was hired for £30/Friday from the council. This made it very accessible, not just due to it being a private space at an affordable price, but also because it was a drop-in.

This was my first experience of home-ed and it became a life-line.

Home-ed in Action

Not only did I get to see home-ed in action, with all age children welcome, but I also got to relax whilst my children played and get to know the parents over tea and cake.

The power of an informal social space is never to be underestimated in its ability to hold and support a community. Especially one that is at high risk of isolation without connections, and may be made up of parents who have already felt a little cast out, or at least on the margins, since making the decision to take the plunge and home-ed.

The Friday drop-in was two bus journeys for me and worth it. I know that a good number of other families also came from far and wide.  This was where I witnessed the co-creation of a space where everyone was equally welcome to offer or request an activity for and by the community.

HELP held a planning circle before the start of each term to bring together a program of activities for the coming weeks. It was very informal and to my memory we had toys like Kapla, craft materials and the invitation of speakers, circus skills and tutors, plus the usual weekly singing group, donations café, small softplay room, and an annual show.

Out of the Woodwork

When my daughter and Facebook were born, there was a boom in parents choosing to home-educate. Being able to witness what others were doing on such a visual social platform gave confidence as well as connection.

A group popped up in central North Somerset and being that I have always lived in North Somerset on the outskirts of Bristol, I could access both city and country drop-in groups.

Not being from the city I was much more drawn to a place with a wide expanse of green play space surrounded by trees. It nourished my nervous system and spared me the busyness of the city traffic.

It was amazing to see fellow home-edders come out of the woodwork to meet up in a country village hall. I had not even known so many others had existed in my county until then. Our then home-ed officer rang to say that she couldn’t visit us that year because she had 50 new home-educating families to visit in North Somerset.

A Community Cast Out

I’d been going to Felix Road for about 3 years, and we’d made friends. This was especially helped by the annual Bristol Home Education Camp, (still running!), of which most families from that era attended. This drop-in space had been a lifeline, a real hub for HE families to support one another.

The council sold the play space to a local group who told us that because we weren’t a local group, they wouldn’t support us in using the space as they wanted to prioritise local people.

They insisted on a hire cost of over £100 every Friday plus the cost of a cleaner, (despite us being capable of cleaning it ourselves).

At only £4 per family entrance fee this meant we’d need 30 families guaranteed each Friday, or doubling the entrance fee which would exclude families.

We felt incredibly sad and unseen.

Community of Practice

Home-educators are a valuable community of practice, not of immediate location, and as such are dispersed across Bristol and around its fringes. We need a place to come together.

An informal meeting space that can be relied upon come rain or shine.

Somewhere we can play and talk.

Somewhere a sense of community and solidarity can grow.

Somewhere we can become known.

Somewhere that’s not just for the children.

That’s not a drop-off requiring taxi service. That can hold the whole family off all ages. Somewhere parents can feel a sense of mutuality in their choices, and freedom in their participation.

One thing led to another…

Our drop-in space in Wrington, North Somerset, also drew people in from all over, even Bristol. It became another hub and lifeline for home-educators who needed to get out and socialise in a playful arty and relaxed way.

After 3 years of meeting weekly together, we wanted more scope for creativity and one of the regular families lent a piece of land on which we established a learning co-operative that we called PACE; (Playful And Collaborative Education). The co-op formed a 3-day a week community which included a forest school day for fostering a love of nature, a facilitator-held day consisting of a variety of activities, and a family day where we all came together to co-create and share the rhythms of life.

It was awesome to have a structure and community to lean into every week. However, I felt the loss of the drop-in spaces, especially as I felt keenly that it had provided a lifeline for me when I really needed it. I felt uncomfortable that I had moved from providing that space to taking it away.

Lifeline

Places which had felt like a lifeline to me we’re able to counteract the isolation and loneliness. Somewhere I could turn up to relax and let the magic happen. Admittedly this took making a commitment to a drop-in so that every week relationships were built on. An informal space where play and chat can happen means that week on week we began to settle in, our nervous systems settled in, and our sense of community and belonging grew.

Over the 14 years I’ve been engaged in the Bristol and North Somerset home-ed scene I’ve come to understand that the more emotionally supported I am, the more regulated is my nervous system, and hence the greater my capacity to engage in fostering new relationships and collaborating on space creation.

It is this social nourishment that makes me a better parent and our home-ed journey smoother, or at least more vibrant and alive.

Second Boom

Since the lockdown years we have seen another boom in home-education. This new wave of home-educators may not have seen home-education in action as it was in its full community vibrancy. It is true that new provisions have sprung up all over, and that these are many and varied. However, I wonder how connecting they are for the home-educating parents.

They are supportive, as in offering quality childcare within a more caring culture than that of the mainstream school system. But what I’m interested in is ways to support home-educating parents coming together. To share stories, empathy, ideas, inspiration. As a way to indirectly support our children by raising their parent’s capacity to hold.

Nourishing Social Spaces

I want to co-create regenerative spaces that welcome whole HE families. Places that we can rest in and co-regulate our nervous systems through sharing lightness, joy and truth.

I envisage a café-style common room, perhaps similar to our monthly pop-up café we had going at PACE. Where any member of the community, both child and adult can put their name on the rota to work behind the counter in serving each other. Where we bake and donate, plus support local businesses.

I remember the pink lemonade of Lush drinks made in Barrow Gurney were a firm favourite, as was the chocolate made in a little factory in Nailsea. I even foraged fresh herbs to enjoy for free!

What I imagine now is an indoor central city space where the wider Bristol HE community are welcome. A space that is equally welcoming for parents and our young people. With a café, table tennis, pool table, games, discussion topics and listening circles.

A drop-in space where we can build up our social network and strengthen our home-ed community.