What empowers me as a home-educator to do it my way?

The first thing I tend to do is reach for a book for a bit of inspiration. This morning I picked up ‘Free Range Education’, edited by Terri Dowty. I flicked through and landed on an ‘Educating Archie’ cartoon strip. It was so true and so funny it made me laugh out loud!

Then, what I read next moved me to tears. A mother’s story about her son entitled, ‘What Lloyd did next’, (reminiscent of the classic novel ‘What Katy did’). In fact, I held back the tears, (despite a voice reminding me that suppression is best avoided!), so I could continue to see the words on the page and find out what Lloyd did next. It was very heartwarming to read this now when my children are teenagers. I felt such immense gratitude for the home-education life we’ve had and where we are now.

I remember reading the book many years ago, likely when my eldest, (now 17), was around 4 or 5. I can’t remember specifics, only the sense of empowerment it left me with. It reminded me of another book I’d read in early motherhood; ‘What mothers do, (even when it looks like nothing)’. Both books refrain from giving advice, they’re simply a collection of stories written by the mum, dad, or young person.

The Power of Sharing Stories

Story sharing is a form of witnessing, which is very powerful juice indeed! It expands our level of compassion and even allows us to extend our compassion to ourselves.

Getting insight into other peoples lived experience can elicit powerful emotions; partly in relation to appreciating their unique story, which can feel touching and sacred in its vulnerability; and in part due to what comes up for us personally.

Sometimes a story of another’s experience is highly resonant to our own. This can make us feel seen and validated in our efforts, choices, and values.

Validation

This used to be quite a trigger word for me, one which I’ve pondered at length. I used to vehemently stand by the notion that I need no-one to validate me, only I have that right to give it. Now I see it as more of a privilege and context specific.

External validation can be helpful when we don’t yet have the capacity to validate our own experience due to feelings of shame or trauma. Validation is a form of co-regulation and can model what it looks like to back yourself up, until you gain access to this from within.

Co-regulation & Co-ops

Finding a home-ed co-operative which feels most aligned to your values is another way to settle into yourself and your way of doing things.

Sadly, we tend to compare what we do with what others do, which causes all sorts of anguish.

Over the years I have found that the more individual stories I hear, the more I understand the importance of doing it my way. This celebration of diversity gives me courage to stand in my own integrity.

But what is my way?

This question can be a challenge in itself. Most of us parents went to school and so are paving an entirely new way of living unlike that which we have ourselves experienced. It’s no wonder that we look to other home-educators for healthy modelling.

However, what I have discovered through interacting with families who take a variety of home-educating approaches, is not ‘which way is the right way’, more, ‘which way is the way for us?’

My personal home-ed experience has led me to the conclusion that harmony flows when I am able to self-connect. Everything else then seems to follow with ease. This self-connection is part of caring for myself; making sure I am well resourced with the capacity I need to make the best decisions I can.

For me self-connection is about acknowledging how I am experiencing the present moment and what I need to do to stay in integrity. This brings me a sense of trust. A knowing that everything is ok.

From this place I am able to share from the heart and to tell my story with authenticity. As I stand in my own power, I hope that it encourages others to stand in theirs. In all its unique and delightful meandering messiness!

As a Home-educator of 17 years, I’m proud to sing, ‘I did it my way!’

...What empowers you to do it your way?

Work with me…

…this is absolutely the thing I love working with with home-educators most! Work with me as a health coach and I’ll help you carve out a path uniquely yours. I can even prescribe you an bespoke herbal medicine tonic so that between us; that is, you, me and nature, we can accompany you to that relaxed and vibrant healthy home-ed life you long for!

Further resources:

Naomi Stadlen. (2005). What Mother's Do: Especially when it looks like nothing. England: Piatkus. https://www.naomistadlen.com/what-mothers-do/

Terri Dowty. (2000). Free Range Education: How home education works. Stroud, Gloucestershire: Hawthorn Press. https://www.waldorflibrary.org/books/3/view_bl/74/general-education/232/free-range-education-how-home-education-works

Susan Coolidge. (1872). What Katy Did. London: Penguin. https://www.penguin.co.uk/authors/19216/susan-coolidge